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Needless to say, this didn't sit well with Asian-American communities, who protested their existence.If you’re a regular reader, you probably knew that I was on the CBS Early Show in July. We wrote two new profile essays that were unique, funny and confident.Sure enough, few women give a fair shake to a man who is 5’3”, no matter what else he has going for him. So I tried changing my profile for three days just to see what the difference was between being 5’3″ and 5’10”. And no amount of complaining is going to change it. And why, in God’s name, is it important to stand on your tiptoes to kiss a guy? Is there any legitimate reason not to go out with this amazing, amazing man? I wanted to know if height was the only difference and the constant deal breaker. Appearing with me was one of my all-time favorite clients, Tom Pandolfo. We renamed him “Look Ma No Hair.” And we watched as his in-box filled up with interested women.

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I didn’t want to mention it for the same reason that Tom didn’t want to mention it in his profile: because it’s irrelevant to anything that makes him a good accountant, husband, or father. He’s just been confronted with a very ugly reality that has shaken his confidence in people.The first Tinder date I went on was with a white guy who quickly revealed that he generally liked to date “Asian girls” or “hipster girls who ride bikes”. He also referenced ‘Gangnam Style’, a whole two years after it was even remotely relevant. In the years since, I’ve received more than a few messages on these apps fixating on my race or ethnicity, whether to test out their rudimentary Vietnamese or to straight out tell me about their sexual fantasies. I don’t message white guys to tell them I love garlic bread (for the record, I bloody love garlic bread); why would a white man think that telling me how much he loves bánh mì is a hot ticket into my pants?‘Yellow fever’ – a phenomenon whereby men (usually white) fetishise Asian women – is terrifyingly common, and in the age of online dating, your exotic dream girl is only a click away. This fetishisation often comes down to problematic stereotypes of Asian women: docile, subservient, sexually submissive but totally down to fuck.And how does it feel when you’re constantly approached sexually and romantically because of your race? “I have a real thing for Oriental women.” “I’ve always wanted to have sex with an Asian.” “I travelled to Vietnam a few years ago. ” When I was 25, following a major breakup, I dipped my toes into the pool of online dating for the first time.I had never casually dated, and was cautiously excited to explore this new world. ” There’s a difference, though, between having a “type” and reducing people to a singular, uncontrollable factor about themselves, like race. Guan Xiaotong is apparently a star in her own right, being labeled one of the Four Dan Actresses of the new generation.

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