Rather than demanding that all the pictures be put away, you might want to have a heart-to-heart discussion about how they make you feel.Without being put on the defensive, your new partner, wanting to please you, will probably try to be accommodating. MOVING INTO A HOME SHARED WITH A LATE SPOUSE If there are no financial concerns and this situation can be avoided, it would probably be best to move to a new home - one where you can both make a fresh start and it can be yours together.Perhaps you could suggest moving them to a child's rooms or at least off the wall in the living room.Another alternative, of which I learned from a woman who was dating a widower is that she intended to have two walls of pictures in their new home.The house should not remain a shrine to the late spouse, but there may be some special keepsakes that hold sentimental value or children may want something of their mother or father to remain in the home.Try to be cognizant of these facts and not insist that everything that belonged to the late spouse be disposed of.One would include those of her intended and his late spouse, and the next wall would be a continuation of pictures of the life they were leading.She did not feel threatened by these pictures, but instead thanked the late spouse for helping to make her fiancé into the wonderful man with whom she gets to spend the rest of her life.
It is at this time that you can negotiate about the items he/she would like to keep around.That is very good news for you and your new relationship!PICTURES OF A LATE SPOUSE Perhaps when you first start dating, there are many pictures of a late spouse around your new partner's home.TALKING ABOUT A LATE SPOUSE: SHOULD YOU ASK QUESTIONS? If a couple were married at a young age, married a long time, or have children/grandchildren, it is going to be very difficult to talk about his/her life without mentioning a late spouse.This can only be threatening to you, if you allow it to be. He or she is not coming back, so you are not going to lose your new mate to him or her. In general, when you get to know someone you want to share your past with him or her. This time it just happens to include a person that is no longer alive.Keep in mind that the heart is a very accommodating organ.