It’s a struggle between wanting to know everything he did when you weren’t together and not wanting to know anything at all.You can’t help but wonder if this is really the best relationship you could have.Ugh, when your friends see the notifications online... Getting back together will throw you right back into the honeymoon phase. It’s easy to get caught up in the wishy, washy whirlwind of the past.You’ve already talked so much sh*t about him to mom. Everything feels so perfect and so different from the last time. You have to make the conscious effort to start over and treat this like something new. When you were breaking up, you both said a lot of awful, hurtful, terrible things to each other. The only way is to let go and never try to use those moments as ammo in future arguments.The advice I seek and he readily offers is from someone who makes clear that my happiness is important to him, and he has the true inside track. Fast-forward two months and my ex was in a position to say “I told you so,” but instead of gloating, he told me I was going to be okay.Another time he encouraged me to give a new guy a chance when I was disgusted with dating in general.Are you back with your ex because you’re afraid something better won’t come along or are you getting back together because you made a mistake?
When a romance doesn’t pan out, it’s easiest to decide that the person doesn’t deserve any room in your life.Or the fact that he can now tell when I’m upset, but that I used to sound breezy and noncommittal instead of admitting I was hurt.He’s pointed out defense mechanisms that I have often overlooked or barely noticed.All of our conversations have provided some clarification for why we disagreed before and perhaps how I could avoid future fights with other people.Most important, our friendship has made me a better communicator.You’re willing to put up with all of the bullsh*t if it means getting to be together.