” Remember what I said earlier about how we mentally filter people into “attractive” and “not attractive” when we meet them in person?
The lack of non-verbal cues that attract us to others don’t carry across in online dating and, as a result, you’ll occasionally come across people who seem great on paper but who don’t turn you on in person.
This is a mistake – and one that makes online dating considerably more inefficient and tedious. Some of the oldest and most boring cliches of online dating are the people who just say that they’re some attractive quality… Saying that you’re funny or spontaneous or romantic is the dating site equivalent of “I listen to a little bit of everything except country and rap.” It’s so generic as to mean nothing.We can get as righteous as we’d like about “getting to know somebody’s soul” or the purity of meeting people without our hangups about looks, but without that physical component, it’s impossible to guarantee that you’re going to be attracted to somebody in person.This is why so many people get first dates that go nowhere; you may have had great intellectual or , it just wasn’t going to work. And that’s where the benefit of the numbers game comes in.Many people treat online dating as though they were talking to somebody in a bar.In the physical world, unless you’re Jack Harkness, flirting with several different people simultaneously is a major faux-pas and likely to leave you going home alone – possibly wearing several drinks.At the same time, you’re less likely to have success when dealing with dating/hook-up apps like Grindr or Tinder. Speaking of the offline dating mindset: you’re going to have to accept that online dating is even more of a numbers game than dating in IRL or meatspace or whatever the cool kids are calling “the world” these days.