Sorry if my language comes across as harsh, but I have every right to ask that the people who contact me are respectful, value consent, and are, like I try to be, aware of their own privileges. Well, turns out trans people, people of color, disabled folks, and fat folks are not objects! The people I find sexiest are those who are down to include me in their sexuality without making a big deal about it or obsessing over how my body is different from a cis person’s body. Conversely, I’m not into trans people, people of color, disabled folks, fat folks, femmes, etc. There are systems of oppression in place that shape our attraction to different groups of people.
We’re on the apps to cruise and date and fool around just like everyone else.
The same technology that brought us Grindr also brought us Google; use it! It’s not something we’re required to do and we shouldn’t have to do so.
But, if you reach out and message someone on an app and then are shocked to find out that they are trans or are disinterested in them when you get that information, make sure you’ve actually taken time to read their profile and make sure you check your cissexism at the door.
But, the last thing we want from people who are trying to date us is to be asked a bunch of invasive questions or treated insensitively. It seems like you’re being nice when you tell a trans person how brave they are for living their life unapologetically.
So, here’s 14 messages you can stop sending to trans people if you want to be good to the trans community (and possibly get in our pants): 1. But, for myself and my trans friends, it can feel like being treated like an exhibit at the zoo. We look just like men, women, or non-binary people because, well, we are. Like many trans folks, I dream of the world where these questions are no longer a thing. And, there are plenty of ways that we can make sex work for us where our junk configurations don’t need to be an issue.
You should never have sex with someone you don’t want to, but if you feel the need to be adamant about your problematic preferences, don’t broadcast it to the world. Hey, hello, we’ve never talked before, but here’s an unsolicited picture of my junk inexplicably next to a remote, a banana, a soda bottle, or some other strange penis-sized object. Headless Torso, you think that sending me a picture of your genitals is going to magically make me want to have sex with you. On a related note: I’m 5,362 miles away, send me pictures of your junk!