Your biological wiring is engineered to motivate you to find out about her so you can get back together with her.
We need to see this phenomenon for what it is: thoughts and feelings. You need to start catching yourself when your mind wanders towards that pertains to her.
I’ve come up with, what I believe to be, a fairly good approximation of what is going on. If your ex has moved on seemingly quickly, it may have to do with her attachment pattern, which might very well be .
A study from the University of Toronto has found that anxiously attached individuals can more easily let go of their ex-partners if they focus on someone new.
Acknowledge the experience: “I feel like I want to know how she could move on so quickly.
Here’s what he said: So although it may seem that both your recovery processes should have both started the second you broke up — it often doesn’t play out that way.
This gives her a head start in recovering after the breakup.
I’ve corroborated this view by talking to many women who went through a similar experience as the initiator of the breakup.
She’s going to be further along in processing her emotions.
But there’s a more important truth here: Her recovery — anything she is doing for that matter — has nothing to do with you anymore.
Our discussion of her attachment patter fits into the social exchange model view of relationships which posits that human relations can be viewed as the result of subjective cost-benefit analyses and the comparison of alternatives.