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Instead, he or she is invested in your emotional health and long-term happiness.Therefore, his or her priority will be guiding you toward the best possible decisions, taking into account your highly individualized needs and desires. Most betrayed spouses want to know much more about what happened than the cheater would like to tell. In fact, gaining this knowledge is empowering and an integral part of the healing process.

There is a time and a place in romantic relationships for sexual activity, and this is not it. If your partner is serious about saving your relationship, he or she will agree to and abide by these conditions without much fuss. Unfortunately, that probably won’t occur as quickly as either of you might like.

Plus, the truth is often not as bad as the stories that many cheated-on partners have made up in their head.

That said, the process of disclosure should not be undertaken without the guidance of an experienced couples’ therapist who understands the nature of infidelity and its aftermath.

In this capacity, he has established and overseen addiction and mental health treatment programs for more than a dozen high-end treatment facilities including Promises Treatment Centers in Malibu and Los Angeles, The Ranch in rural Tennessee, and The Right Step in Texas.

An internationally acknowledged clinician and author, he has served as a subject expert on the intersection of human intimacy and digital technology for multiple media outlets including The Oprah Winfrey Network, "Remember: YOU DID NOT CAUSE THE CHEATING." Honestly?

Thanks to the recent Ashley Madison hack and data dump, countless unsuspecting spouses and partners are learning that they’ve been cheated upon by their significant other. Often, more upsetting than the actual cheating is the betrayer’s revealed history of lying and secret keeping.

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