In the summer of 2013, I moved from Boston, Massachusetts (population 4.5 million), to Hudson, New York (population 6,600).I made the move for a job, to become the managing editor of a startup print magazine and website called In the beginning, I was all about the rural. I liked all the empty space in my bigger, cheaper apartment. I was working all the time anyway, so I barely registered the lack of people or bookstores or choice of restaurant when I went out to eat with my small band of colleagues.Next, George Pouder and Nick Cerullo collaborated on a presentation about North Castle’s response to President Abraham Lincoln’s call for draftees during the American Civil War.In all, 79 North Castle men volunteered for the Union, including 15 black men.I went for long walks in the state park nearby, where I would listen to the birds, and occasionally stumble upon a stray wild turkey fanning its plumage toward the Catskill Mountains. After the requisite month of feeling bad for myself, drinking too many martinis and watching and re-watching Jane Austen-inspired movies on my laptop, I emerged from my depressive fog.My boyfriend, Greg, had started a new job in Houston, Texas (population 2.2 million), right around when I began mine in Hudson, and the distance sucked, but we were making it work. And I realized, perhaps for the first time, how small Hudson actually was.It hasn't ever been easier - just create an account and dive into the world of pleasant conversations using this site.
Online dating has offered us the promise of solving the supply-and-demand problem, making it more efficient to match those looking with those available. I downloaded the app onto my phone on a Wednesday night, and with a glass of wine in one hand, I spent an hour swiping left and right with the other, wholeheartedly enjoying the ping of adrenaline when I got a match.
I loved reading other men’s profiles, comparing my narrative to theirs, imagining if they could ever intertwine. I was a relative newcomer to town, but even so I felt sure I would recognize everyone with a profile. Oh, well.)I turned to technology next, but technology that hadn’t been available to me when I last dated in Boston: Tinder, the location-based app that shows you little more than a couple of pictures, a line of text, and overlapping Facebook friends. In fact only a couple of swiping sessions, within a couple of days. I increased the top end of my age range to 40, and then 45. I began to more carefully consider every single man, every single potential match. And so as I swiped away, I found myself both matching and connecting with men I would never have given a second thought in the city. I met farmers, construction workers, photographers, writers, and even a professor from Bard. The first man I dated post-breakup served us beers with a friendly hello. One night after lugging my boxes into the Boston apartment about a month later, I logged on to Tinder.
What I loved most, however, was that when a date was over, it was over, if I wanted it to be. And the flip side of that: They would recognize me. The first person I dated after my breakup I actually met IRL. “There’s no one new around you,” the little red words pulsed on my screen. I was disappointed in myself for being so narrow-minded. People tend to live upstate in towns like Hudson for a few reasons: to escape, to find the space for creativity, or for an unfettered love of the land. I chatted with a law student in Albany who lived with his parents. I briefly dated a tall, tattooed man who worked at an art gallery in Chelsea when he was in town for a week on a job. (We didn’t.)Toward the end of June, I met a man who worked as a freight train conductor. We took them to the patio, to sit in the humid dusk of an early August evening. Later, I glanced up to see the tattooed art gallery employee, who had returned to town for another gig, across the room. I swiped for five full minutes but I didn’t run out of men.
Each gift book is and supports the non-profit organization.
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North Castle Historical Society’s Annual Meeting By Louise T.